Category: The Daily Drool

Apr 18

And Then Cast

So, I got a part in Cabaret – not the part I was salivating over, but I did do my best for it, so I can’t nitpick the final decision to death – surprisingly, I wound up getting cast as Fraulein Kost.

And now sets in the anxiety.

Because now I have to learn a ton of dance moves, songs, and a few sneaky lines.

You see, the funny thing about auditioning is that you get so focused on the “getting” of a part, that you forget that it’s just the beginning of a long and crazy roller-coaster of insanity.

But it’s put me to thinking – I haven’t been on stage in so damn long, it’s going to be really good for Playwright Tiffany to have to follow someone else’s dialogue and plot, to be told what to do instead of directing others, and to get back in touch with the onstage aspects of putting on a play.

Also, it’s the first time I’ve had any kind of a solo song in a musical, so that’s kind of fun.  I haven’t even done a musical since high-school, and back then I was always just in the chorus – no serious dancing required, and certainly not allowed to sing anything by myself.  I’ve learned a lot since then (most noteably that I don’t have to be afraid of my own voice), so it’s exciting to get to challenge myself anew (even if it is freaking me out just thinking about all the work I’m going to have to put in over the next two months).

In any case, a wild couple of days and something fun on the horizon… and then I think I’ll go back to being plain old Playwright Tiffany again for a while.  The actor’s life is something I never managed all that well – and the recent nerves have reminded me just how anxious an actor I used to be.

3
comments

Apr 17

Bold

It is a bold, bold thing to march up in front of people and lay bare your voice, your body, your hope, and (sometimes) your dignity for a part.  I had forgotten this.  I had forgotten the silent anxiety that knots and twists inside you… the leaning forward of the audience as you inhale and prepare to show them what you’ve got… I had forgotten how much auditions can mess with your head.

I had also forgotten how fun it can be to sit in a room throbbing with shared nerves and breathlessness, as you all battle it out for your place on the stage.

When I was younger and trying to do this full time in LA, I used to drive myself mad with panic over every little detail – I would show up to a call with a room full of other blonde 20-something’s, and wait.  I would silently berate myself for not having gotten a manicure in months, I would second guess the color of my dress, and I would ask myself, repeatedly, just what was wrong with me that I was purposefully subjecting myself to this kind of repetitive (and intensive) evaluation.

When I cast my first show, a few years later, I nearly spat at the sky in frustration for all that I suddenly understood from my new spot behind the director’s table.  ”If only I knew what it was like to sit here, while I was spending so much time over there” I thought.  Because casting is not about judgement or criticism.  It’s not about “She didn’t paint her nails” or “She messed up that one word” – it’s about energy and dedication and vibes.  It’s about confidence and comfort and fit.  It’s about people deciding who they want to work with, who they think they can work well with, and who looks and feels the part.  And some of that is felt the moment an actor walks into a room – before they’ve even said their name.   Some of that is discovered in the reading.  Some of it is decided based on who they cast in another role, and how many people can agree on the balance of faces, and whose niece/nephew/third cousin twice removed, is up for the same role…

But always (I have learned) the people doing to the casting – director, casting agent, musical director, assistant to the producer, etc. – always they are hoping that you will be the one to make their job easier.  Always they are hoping you will walk into the part like magic.  Always they are rooting for you to succeed – because it helps them succeed – and this is so important to know and to trust.  The people in the room want to like you.  Your fight is half won if you just let them.

Which is a good thing to think about while you’re sitting in a theatre full of auditioners and there is a team of talented creatives in the back taking notes.  It’s good to remind yourself that you’re all there because you want to be part of the same project, and that creativity is a multi-faceted, complex concept that doesn’t always revolve around you.  Your job is to show up, be present, be responsive, listen, and be your best self/performer.  And if you can do that, no matter the outcome, you can walk away from the audition feeling like you did your part.

(so says me, as I try to talk my knotted stomach down off the ledge :-P )

0
comments

Apr 13

Acting Shoes…

It’s been about 7 years since I’ve performed on stage – I kind of hung up my acting shoes when I started writing full time.  It wasn’t that I didn’t love performing, it’s just that I was so comfortable staying home evenings in my pajamas, stuffing my face with potato chips and jelly beans while I tapped away at my scripts.

But lately I’ve been entertaining the idea of auditioning for a show or two… so when Gail Mangham of The Artist’s Path invited me to perform two monologues in her “Love Makes the World Go Round” monologue festival (I also wrote one of the monologues in the fest) I sort of jumped at the opportunity with a resounding “YES!” before I’d even thought about just how rusty those acting shoes actually were.

And it’s been a really interesting return for me – the balance of all that I’ve learned these past 7 years of writing, teaching, and directing with my nervous actor ego shivering at the thought of stepping outside her dusty shell.  It’s almost as though I’ve been watching myself from the outside, shaking my head in embarassment at some things, and patting myself on the back for others…  but through all of it, hyper aware of a new actor-awareness creeping in… something I didn’t have in my twenties when I was actually trying to do this for a living.  Because it is true – the more hats you wear in theater, the wider your perspective and the more resourceful your tool box!

Which is all to say, I’m really glad I signed on for this fun project – I love the pieces I’m performing, and working with these beautiful texts have  reminded me of the actor’s relationship to the script (always good for a playwright to keep in mind). Plus, last night when I stepped into the space for a rehearsal, I felt some of the thrill of the performer moving in on me… I’d missed that.  (I’ve not missed the nerves though- sweet lord!)

So, with that said, I hope I make the playwrights proud, I hope the audience enjoys the show, and I hope I get the chance to be back onstage again soon… I’ve been too long away from it (although I do so love those late night computer make-out sessions… really, my love affair with words will always be the source of my happiest creative expression).  In the meantime, here’s hoping the actor nerves quiet down when they’re supposed to and these acting shoes do their thing!

 

 

0
comments

Apr 10

One Click Away…

I had to pick my poison tonight and opted to post today’s writings on the Little Black Dress INK site, since the post was really about community and how it pertains to the upcoming From the Mouths of Babes Festival.  You can read it by clicking THIS LINK.

0
comments

Apr 09

In Pause

It’s been a very busy couple of days for me – a lot of disparate pieces needing attention – and as a result, I’ve been terribly lax on blogging.  So I wanted to take a moment to thank you for stopping by, and to let you know that I’ll be back VERY soon :-)

0
comments

Apr 04

Springtime Parentheticals

At long last (it seems) Spring is sprung… and so have my allergies.

It’s amazing that only a few short weeks ago we were buried in two feet of thick, delightful snow… and although the wind hasn’t yet left (oh, how I loathe the wind) at least the sun is shining down with enough power to allow my toes comfort from their sandaled keep.  (They’ve been dying to escape their booted confines for months now)

The cats have gone squirrely – their whiskered faces waking earlier with every day – leaning over me, blowing their warm Iams-scented breath on my cheeks in the hopes that I’ll succumb to their “PLAY WITH ME” mental persuasions and just “Get up already!”  To which I reply (mentally of course) “No – I will not get up at 6:30 with you/or the sun, my furry friends.  Go back to sleep.”

And all I can think about is yoga and hiking, skirts that have been waiting, legs that need shaving, and the reemergence of things creative (that were for some reason left waiting)

For there is something about Spring that lifts the Spirit – as though rescuing it from the sneaky Winter grey that slipped in on jingle bells and merry making, but then wrapped you in ice for months afterwards and held you (and your spirit) there, unyielding.

And soon enough I’ll be complaining of the “HOT” Arizona sun, once again longing for Autumn days and Winter fires, but for now I’m oh-so-happy to see Spring (finally) moving in, taking over, and melting things too long frozen.

0
comments

Apr 02

FINALLY!

I remember watching “The Muppet Movie” over and over again when I was a tot – it thrilled me, my parents enjoyed it (although I’m sure not as much on continuous repeat) and none of us could get over the scene where Kermit rides a bicycle (it looked so real).  There there was The Muppet Show, which we would watch together as a family every week, leaving us very sad when it came to a close.

So perhaps there’s a fair a bit of nostalgia at work when I say this, but I FINALLY saw the newest Muppet flick “The Muppets” and I thought it was BRILLIANT.  It’s funny, it’s clever, the Muppets are hilarious, and the heart of the film is so alive and well that I wanted to reach into the television and personally thank Jason Segal for championing their comeback.

I think I was grinning for a good 20 minutes straight after it was over, and I’ve been thinking happy thoughts ever since… I think a bit of my younger self was brought out from beneath the layers of “adult”ness I’ve acquired in the years, and it felt wonderful.

In any case, things are busy-busy on my end, so I’m afraid I’m not posting much more today than this – but If you haven’t seen the movie yet, go out and rent or buy it!  It’s a serious treat!

2
comments

Mar 27

We Speak

We lie here.

We look at each other.

We cry.

What I will never take for granted is our power to affect other people.  We enter one another’s lives so carelessly sometimes – flittering in and out with nary a thought to what happens once we are back in our private globes and they in theirs.  We bump and crash and colide, sending out sparks, and we focus so on our recollection of the meeting that we are struck dumb sometimes to understand what it is we left with them.

Things complicate so quickly, intermingled histories and possible-futures… ramping up all interactions to near-hysteric heights of emotion.

And yet…

And yet…

We are just people.

We are just people trying…

We are just people trying to make sense together.

And we do this with only our guts, our intuitions, our hopes, and our inadequate tongues.

Words tumble, fall flat, resurface and fly into brief seconds of clarity before collapsing in on themselves against the flesh of the person we sent them towards…

It’s not all pretty flowers and happy things – this thing we call Communication.

It’s not at all rules and order and sense – this thing we call Love

And yet…

And yet…

…we lie here…

…we look into one another…

and we speak.

 

0
comments

Mar 25

Hungry

Adaptations are tricky things… depending on the source material, you’ve either got too much to grapple with, or (if it’s a short story) too much room to go hog wild in.  And while it can be reassuring to have the story skeleton already there for you to drape your words upon, there also stands the possibility that you’ll  find yourself screaming: “Oh GOD! This is  a best selling book with a global fan base… how am I going to live up to that?!”

And so you dive in…

And if it’s done really, really well – when you’re finished – you get The Hunger Games.

Now, obviously when you start out with 400 pages of text, not everything is going to make it onto the Big Screen – you’ve got interior monologues that have to be translated into action (if it merits inclusion) and you’ve got to show character traits/transitions/emotional progression through visual elements rather than some handy expositional thought.  Sometimes you’ve got to cut characters, because although extraneous body-jumping is manageable in a book, it’s a bit schizophrenic for a mere 2 hour movie – you’ve got a lot of material to cover, and you’ve got to make the character choices that will best serve the story, not necessarily the audience’s expectations.

So, you boil it down – What happened/is happening/is about to happen?  Who are the key people in this story?  What are the main points of action that help our protagonist get from beginning to end?

The choices made in bringing The Hunger Games to life were well-made decisions.  They captured the world and captured the characters, they distilled the action to productive points of crisis and evolution, and they carried us along with incredible action that focused on the brutality of the world these characters inhabited.

And what a brutal world it is…

Which is where my muse and I got lost for a bit; enjoying the incredible allure of Panem, wondering what exactly it is about this story that is so gripping, when I realized - the atrocities in the film really aren’t that far from us.

Human beings will always try to make other human beings fit their idea of “right”.  Look down the barrel of a history book and you’ll witness atrocity after bloody human atrocity, all made at the behest of one person/group of people who believe that those they are oppressing/annihilating need conform to their way of thought/living/belief/etc.

It’s the way it’s always been, and it’s the way it always will be.

Because we’re human.  We’re animal.  We’re violent, lust-filled, and opinionated.  We’re predisposed to identify difference and to uniformly desire it ourselves or  scream to squash it for being “not of me, and therefore wrong”.

Which is why we connect to it so viscerally on stage, screen, or in music, on canvas, or in print.

And why we love to watch people rise up against it.

The Hunger Games shows people at their most brutal/calculated/vulnerable/and defiant… it shows us at our most terrible, raw, powerful, and compassionate.  It fulfills our need to be told “Yes, people damage one another – but no ‘system’ is permanent.”

And today, in a world where so many things seem uncertain in our lives (as it was – in different ways – for so many lives that came before us) we can go to a movie where the poor, overworked, and hungry are prey to a much more obvious, much crueler “System”.  A “System” that does not see them as the relevant, freedom deserving, human beings they know themselves to be.  A “System” that (most) audience members will know must be challenged if the people of the story are to realize their full potential and to live as they yearn.

So we lean into their struggles…

We catch our breath at their heartache…

And we cheer their small victories…

Because we feel our own “systems” at our backs, beyond the movie theatre doors, waiting to grab hold of us again as soon as the credits roll.

I loved the books.

I loved the movie.

I left that theatre tonight feeling exhilarated once again by the story, the struggles, the price, and the journey.

So if you go, and you haven’t read the books – do yourself a favor and allow yourself to indulge in the full experience of the text after this.  Revel in the characters heads and hearts.  Bear witness to characters you don’t have time to meet in 142 minutes.  Let yourself really sit with this world and it’s many terrifying implications.  Allow yourself to be swept up by the compassion and resilience of the people inhabiting it as well.

And if you already read the books – tell yourself to let go of your passion for the details so that you can enjoy seeing what you only before imagined.   Let yourself be swept up in being privy to that which happened away from Katniss’ eyes and ears… to sink into the journey playing on screen… to revel in the world the filmakers so carefully crafted for you.

Because ultimately, whether on page or on screen, the story of Katniss Everdeen and the country of Panem is one that moves us on a very human plane - fueling our voyeuristic reality-t.v.-loving barbarism, our searching idealogical philosophies, and our ever present hunger to be free.  It takes us away from our own unpredictable world, into one where we can sit apart and yet engaged, experiencing a very human catharsis from the safety of our own hungry seats.

And it does it really, really well.

 

 

0
comments

Mar 22

Phlegmbot

My nose is running rampant,
And I can’t turn off the tap,
I’ve got to stuff my nose with tissue,
Just to take a nap.

I’m lotioning my nose,
to keep it turning raw,
and my throat’s as red as rubies,
when I open up to “Ahhh”

My eyes are red and teary,
My voice so small and hoarse,
I’m trying not to spread my germs,
by disinfecting every course.

So even though LA was fun,
her beach so bright and cheery,
I brought back a nasty cold,
and now I’m mad and weary.

(and writing dumb poems)

Sigh

Cough

Gross

 

1
comments